INFP and Interpersonal Relationships
Introduction
The INFP personality type, often referred to as the “Idealist” or the “Mediator,” is a complex and deeply emotional individual who seeks authentic connections in interpersonal relationships. This blog post aims to delve into the intricacies of the INFP personality type within the framework of interpersonal relationships, offering valuable insights for both couples and counselors.
Core Traits
Introverted Feeling
At the heart of an INFP’s interpersonal relationships is their dominant function, Introverted Feeling (Fi). This function drives them to seek emotional depth and authenticity. They are often guided by a strong moral compass and are highly attuned to their own feelings and values.
Extraverted Intuition
INFPs are also characterized by their Extraverted Intuition (Ne), which allows them to see endless possibilities in interpersonal relationships. This function helps them to be open-minded and accepting of different perspectives, making them excellent at understanding and empathizing with their partners.
Strengths in Interpersonal Relationships
Emotional Depth
INFPs bring a profound emotional depth to their interpersonal relationships. They are capable of intense love and commitment, often going to great lengths to understand and support their partners.
Idealism
INFPs are idealistic by nature, always striving for the “perfect” relationship. While this can set high standards, it also means they are continually working to improve their interpersonal relationships, making them attentive and considerate partners.
Challenges in Interpersonal Relationships
Overly Idealistic
The same idealism that is a strength can also be a challenge in interpersonal relationships. INFPs may become disillusioned if a relationship doesn’t meet their high standards, leading to disappointment or even withdrawal.
Difficulty with Conflict
INFPs often find conflict unsettling and may go to great lengths to avoid it. This can be a hurdle in interpersonal relationships, as unresolved issues can accumulate over time.
Tips for Couples and Counselors
Open Communication
Encourage open and honest communication to help INFPs express their deep emotional landscape. This will not only improve the quality of interpersonal relationships but also help INFPs feel understood and valued.
Realistic Expectations
Help INFPs set realistic expectations for their interpersonal relationships. While idealism is a beautiful trait, it’s also important to ground relationships in reality.
INFPs Will:
- Be the most romantic of all the types and have very high expectations of the level of intimacy in a relationship
- Desire harmony, hate conflict, and try to avoid disagreements unless basic values are at stake
- Be responsive in a relationship and delight in pleasing
- Have a tendency to live more in the world of imagination than in the”real” world
- Search all their lives for the “meaning” in life
- Become very cynical if they harbor too many disappointments and resentments
- Be articulate and want to communicate with their mate at deep, meaningful levels
- Need a room of their “own” to which they can retreat and regroup their energies
- Find romance and anticipation of the sexual act important
- Be naturally elusive in a relationship which will keep their mate pursuing them
- Be charming and gracious to those whom they choose to invite into their home
- Have a tendency to support their children against everyone else
They will value in their mate or children:
- creativity
- honor and ethics
- real-world skills
- need for harmony
- self-esteem
- appreciation of who they are
The bulleted lists above are courtesy of “Intimacy and Type” by Jane Hardy Jones, Ed.D & Ruth G. Sherman, Ph.D.
Conclusion
Understanding the INFP personality type can offer invaluable insights into the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. Whether you are an INFP looking to improve your own relationships or a counselor aiming to assist couples, recognizing the strengths and challenges of this personality type can lead to more authentic and fulfilling connections.
Ken Meyer
Myers Briggs Master Practitioner and Retired Senior Career Coach at Eastern Michigan University
